The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
The tale of two houses – Part II

You can find Part I here……

Where did I leave the story, aah, yes, we bought a new house while still living in a homewe already owned! Thanks to all the research Ron had been doing over the previous months and a good relationship with the estate agents that we bought our existing home from five years ago, we felt we had a good grip on the market in the local area which gave us a measure of confidence that we would be able to sell our home in a timely fashion for a good market value. Combined with the fact that the new house was on for a good price and the owner was happy to accept a long settlement period, we felt comfortable moving ahead with the deal and so we threw ourselves headfirst into preparing our home for sale.

Ron worked tirelessly cleaning, spackling and packing boxes into a storage unit while I cleaned every corner and worked with our fantastic real estate agent to get the house into the right state for photographing for our campaign. Our days were filled with action and phone calls and solicitors all the while we were trying to prepare Amy for starting school and trying to keep life as simple as possible for the girls. My nights were filled with hours of insomnia as I ran the numbers over and over again and calculated just how much risk was involved. Sure, in theory it should all work out but that is just not the way I am wired. I am a practical person who likes to consider all the possible outcomes so I can prepare myself for when the worst happens. In this case the worst outcomes involved huge financial costs and an uncertain future in either house.

This was enough to give me some very physical effects of stress. I lost my appetite almost completely, waking in the morning my stomach would churn and I couldn’t imagine eating anything, even more surprising, I couldn’t drink coffee at all. I survived on meal replacement milkshakes to get me through the worst of the morning until by lunchtime I had managed to bully my subconscious into believing that it just might all work out. These feelings of vague optimism would surface briefly for a few hours before my conscious mind would beat them into submission and the negative thoughts would go round and round and round. All the while we were racing about getting finance organised and signing paperwork and talking about a marketing campaign for our home. I called it my million dollar mortgage diet and people were starting to comment on how good I was looking!

We didn’t make a deliberate decision not to talk about our plans, of course we told our close circle of friends but for some reason I couldn’t fathom putting it out into the internet. Even saying it out loud made me flinch with fear and doubt. “We have bought a house, we haven’t sold ours yet, we need to sell our home for a reasonable price in an average length of time in order for this all to work out.” I had a list of responses for the questions that people asked and I practiced these over and over in my mind until I felt confident telling the playgroup Mums “We haven’t been reckless in our decision, it was a calculated risk and when it pays off its going to mean a brilliant opportunity for our family.” But the reality was I wasn’t coping very well. I felt terribly guilty for subjecting our girls to this uncertain future. Instead of laughing at Stella’s adorable antics or being overwhelmingly proud of Amy for adjusting to school so well, I was dying a bit inside thinking about what a risk we were taking with our financial security, for what, a bigger kitchen? A second bathroom?

There were times, late at night when I lay awake and thought it wasn’t worth it and the hardest thing was I struggled to articulate these fears to Ron, my eternal optimist who was so full of excitement for all the future held! Through out this whole process Ron has been unceasingly calm and practical and optimistic. He is the kind of man who looks for the positive in situations and even when faced with dire odds he will always find something good to focus on. He is the perfect foil for my negativity which previously I have liked to call realism but sadly turns out to be a little more, well fatalistic than that. While I fretted about the future, Ron packed boxes into our storage unit until late at night and worked tirelessly getting our house and garden looking more beautiful than it had ever looked!

To be continued……

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