The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Oh wow.

I had actually managed to forget about one of the very worst side-effects of saying goodbye to my parents after each visit. Somehow I have been able to completely block out the desperateness that is two small children who miss their Gogga and Packet.

Phew, its exhausting. Stella had another EPIC tantrum this morning after we requested she “stand over here” to get her suntan lotion applied before Daddy took her to the park. You would have thought we were asking her to pluck out her eyebrows with her own fingers rather than finish getting dressed so she could go out and HAVE SOME FUN. Sigh. I ended up taking her into the now deserted spare room/play room so she could thrash it out and calm herself down. She did that fabulous thing that she has done once before, about four weeks ago when she threw her first doozy of a tantrum. She sort of blows her nose on her own arm and wipes it back and forward as though she is dashing tears from her eyes where she is in fact rubbing snot across her face and into her hair. UGH, horrible, but I can’t stop her. Also, we are trying to wean her from using the dummy outside of her cot and so when she is weeping and blowing snot bubbles, all she wants is her “nummy” and we are being the MEANEST parents in the world by refusing to give it to  her and taking away her beloved Gogga and Packet.

The adjustment period is always hard. Amy is alternating between being very angry, with her sister bearing the brunt of this anger, and being very sad, with my shoulder coping with the worst of the deluge. This morning between sobs on my lap she managed to hiccup that she misses Gogga and I can completely relate. We comfort her with lots of cuddles and kisses and gentle pats and remind her that we understand how sad she feels and she is allowed to feel sad and that we all need to comfort each other with love and kindness rather than by bashing each other over the head with our toys.

So the transitional period continues, I am feeling much stronger today, its almost like a grieving process, this saying goodbye. The first few hours after they leave are intense, I feel sad throughout my whole body, its a physical reaction, my heart literally aches and whenever my thoughts turn to my parents, the tears are not far behind. The slowly as the day goes on the tears ebb and the pain in my chest eases and then I just feel tired. We were all in bed early and after a good night’s sleep I wake feeling a bit more normal and slowly but surely feelings of optimism start to surface and then I find I can think about our plans for the weekend and the coming weeks without feeling bereft.

Living far away from family is one of the hardest things I have ever done and it never really gets easier. What we do get better at is spending our time together, we make the most out of every moment we have and when we are apart, we are as much a part of each other’s lives as if we lived down the road. It is so important to me to maintain these ties and keep these relationships strong for my girl’s sake as well as my own. Onward….

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