The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Who am I?
self portrait aged about 20 at university

I was folding laundry today, stacking up piles of little pink t-shirts and leggings and letting my mind wander. Lately I have been noticing some changes in myself that have gradually combined to make me wonder if I am going through some kind of growth spurt of the emotional variety. Its not altogether unexpected I guess. I am turning 34 this year, further and further away from my twenties. I have been with Ron for 8 years and married for 6 of those. Double the length of any previous long term relationship, I have been with Ron for more than my entire high school career. I am mother to two girls and Amy will be 4 this year. I have known her for nearly the length of time that I spent at university.

The changes are not negative by any stretch, in fact I am quite pleased with myself for some of the habits newly formed. I am so much more organised in my everyday life. Running my own house and taking care of my family is my job now and I treat it as such. I am efficient and economical and practical. I plan our meals, budget our accounts, pay our bills and make sure that everyone has clean underwear. We seldom run out of important things like milk or bread or toilet paper. Gone are the days where I lounged around the house in my pjs or watched back to back movies on dvd. Now I have to get up and get going and find cheap and fun ways to keep myself and the girls entertained whilst still managing to get dinner on the table and the laundry off the line and folded. Somehow I have switched from talking about this stay-at-home-mum thing to actually doing it without even really thinking about it. Along the way I seem to have left behind my desire to return to a career, or at least abandoned any thought of trying to get back to the career in Finance in the city that I left behind when I went on maternity leave this time four years ago.

A wonderful side effect of these changes is a new found sense of self and a confidence in myself that I hadn’t even realised was missing until I started to feel it returning. I am not lying awake at night with a racing heart trying to work out how we are going to pay the bills and panicked by the fears that I would never be able to find a job. Even though our financial situation hasn’t changed, my attitude has. These are going to be the hardest years of our lives financially but we will get through it and suddenly I am thinking about all the exciting possibilities ahead for me and my family. I am filled with vigour and motivation and enthusiasm. I write blog post after blog post in my head and then run out of time to complete and type and publish. I draw huge mind maps in the air and plan them out but never find the down time to grab that huge piece of card and bring them to fruition. Where before I used to snatch moments of quiet time for myself, launching myself at the computer while Ron bathed Amy, now I do the dishes and clean the kitchen because I can’t sit down at night until the house is tidy. I could use the cliche “I am turning into my mother” which would be the ultimate compliment in my book, but its more than that, I am turning into A mother.

Now that I have the practical side of my life in order and am making more and more time for myself in other areas such as exercise and photography, I need to harness all these ambitious thoughts and dreams and make time to nurture them and then the possibilities will be limitless!

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