The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Sad

I don’t want to write this blog post. I have been dreading it. Putting it off, stalling, head-in-the-sand, desperate for it not to be so. But I think I might have to admit defeat and stop breastfeeding Stella.

Just typing it is making me cry again. I talked about this before in Stella’s 9 month update, about how she was refusing the breast, completely disinterested in feeding. Back then she was teething like crazy, now she has the four teeth on the top that were causing her distress, in turn these teeth are causing me distress as she nips and chomps, takes my nipple with her head as she twists around and flips over. I have tried all manner of things suggested by some lovely supportive friends but the continual struggle is weighing heavy on my mind and at some point I have to make a choice.

I loved breastfeeding my babies, Amy was on the breast within half an hour of birth and with Stella the first thing I did after questioning Ron about whether she was REALLY a girl, was to put her to my breast. She latched on and stayed that way for most of the next 36 hours. I can’t say it was always easy, it was much harder with Stella than I ever imagined it would be second time around, but the sense of satisfaction and pleasure I have had from feeding my baby has far outweighed the pain of those first few weeks.

I fed her tonight before bed and for the first time in four days she actually stayed on for long enough to drink. I have high hopes that this might continue and I think I am going to persevere for the entirely selfish reason that I want her to get past this, I want to continue feeding her and if wanting something badly enough can make it so then we will get through this.

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