The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Weekends away, pregnancy meltdowns and parenting failures
(Amy looks like I feel)

I am struggling this week. Its a combination of things really, but I have been feeling a bit funny emotionally after our weekend away in Mudgee. It was a rugby weekend, the club arranged for a bit of an end-of-season hoorah for some of the 1st grade team, they put together a team to play in the Mudgee Sevens tournament and Ron was included as a support person and then so was I, by proxy. Initially there were a few WAGS (wives and girlfriends) going too and then everything changed overnight when we heard the terrible news that one of the 1st grade players had passed away last Monday night. At aged 26 he dropped dead from a massive heart attack. Its a tragedy on every level and suddenly the weekend in Mudgee wasn’t so important anymore because he was supposed to be coming along. In the end the guys decided to go anyway and play in honour of their mate but it also meant that only two other WAGS came up and they drove up seperately on the Saturday morning. It did end up being a fun weekend, because we had left Amy back in Sydney with her grandparents I was able to concentrate on photographing the players and in the downtime between games I caught up on some reading in the sun. The guys were playing for fun more than results and their third and final game of the day was a hilarious contest where they were going to be resoundingly beaten but instead the other team joined in the fun and it was great to watch. At one point the opposition was tearing away to score another try when one of his own team mates tackled him to the ground, saving our side from another score against them!

Later after a lovely afternoon nap I went with the guys to dinner at the restaurant of a friend of ours. The two other women were there too but it was just a strange evening for me. The average age of the team minus Ron was 23 and I felt every year of my 32 years that night. I don’t ever usually feel like I need to justify or explain myself to people I don’t know very well but thats because the people I tend to meet are usually at a similar place in life, ie more settled, often married and very often have children. Instead I found myself round a table with a bunch of students and I couldn’t join in the drinking games or the rounds of beers so I found myself observing and feeling isolated. I am not sure why this bothered me but I think it stems from my disliking for this particular aspect of the rugby scene, where grown men are reduced to a single denomination by the consumption of vast quantities of alcohol with the excuse of a team sport. This has taken to many parents to start a alcohol addiction to relieve the family stress, it has not been effective for anyone to have this substance abuse, some wander  How much does private alcohol rehab cost? If you need you need help with alcohol addiction, but you’re worried about the alcohol rehab UK cost, Abbeycare Foundation is here to help, or just are afraid to let their family know, it is better to seek for help than to never get out.

I went home early after dinner and thankfully Ron followed not long after although much worse for wear thanks to someone’s ridiculous idea to use tumblers of wine as the fine for losing in the drinking game. The irony doesn’t escape me because this is something I have done on many an occasion but lets face it, when it was more age appropriate, like when I was 22 instead of nearly 35 in Ron’s case! We were staying at a lovely little motel but my sleep was disrupted all night as the guys came back in dribs and drabs from about 1.30am onwards. I pity the poor old couple I saw checking out the following morning! We went back to our friend’s restaurant for a heavenly breakfast the following morning before Ron and I set out to visit some of Mudgee’s finest vineyards. After a pregnancy related hormonal meltdown in the car we reassesed the sensibility of the designated driver (Ron – still hungover) and the pregnant lady going winetasting so we started on the drive home instead.
It was fun to get out of town and it reminded us of how much we enjoy roadtrips together, especially as a treat, without Amy. We listened to our favourite Athlete cd’s, stopped for padkos (roadfood) and talked about all the things we don’t seem to have time to talk about usually. I was really happy to get back and see Amy after spending two nights away from her which is the longest we have left her for despite the fact that she spends most saturday nights at her Grandparents house. But Amy wasn’t very happy to see us and her mood hasn’t improved since which is adding to my general sadness this week.
Amy is either just very TWO at the moment, or coming down with something. She is impossible to please, disintegrates into hysterical sobbing and thrashing around on the floor at the slightest thing and is usually inconsolable. She has been throwing things at me like plates full of finely crafted food or her shoes whilst I am driving. She spits and slams doors and shouts NO MUMMY and has made me cry a few times. I think it might be pregnancy hormones finally catching up with me but I feel incapable of coping with her at times and have been relying on the tv to entertain her whilst I have a timeout with a book or the radio. Its made worse by my dread about this upcoming weekend when Ron is away for THREE NIGHTS for his end of season rugby tour. I hate the fact that he is going but also really want him to have his well deserved weekend. The guys are playing at the Byron Bay Sevens which is over two days hence the length of the trip but I am just feeling very sorry for myself, missing my family a lot and strugging with general anxiety which makes me short tempered as it is without a feral two year old. All of this is kind of irrelevant when I think about the death of our rugby friend and his family who are struggling to cope with his loss and how to carry on without him so I should just give myself a stern talking to and have an early night!

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