The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Talking about a photography business

I have a love/hate relationship with photography. I have had a fascination with taking photos since as far back as I can remember. One of my earliest memories relating to photography is of a fake plastic camera that squirted water which I used to “take photos” which I then drew onto pieces of paper cut to the size of a photograph. I remember sitting outside on the verandah at our first house in South Africa “taking photos” of my Grandmother. I would have been about 8 or 9 years old. When I went to university my Dad gave me his old Pentax K100o SLR and the love affair began in earnest. I struggle now sometimes because I feel like I need to photograph everything, every experience, each memory and I feel guilty if I don’t get the photo I want. Add in my old camera which was becoming more and more unreliable and I have been feeling very despondant about photography recently. A lot has changed since getting my new camera yet I still regret not taking more photos of Amy with my parents on their recent trip.
I don’t know why I feel like this, surely one great photo is enough of a memory and our memories from this holiday consist of a lot more than a few snapshots, but somehow I still feel a little disappointed that I didn’t take more special photos. That said I love these photos from a spontaneous photoshoot on the deck in the afternoon light. I love the emotion between Amy and my Mum and I love the sense of connection between them.
I should be more gentle with myself and take the time to sit back and admire what I have done rather than bemoan what I didn’t get around to doing but my relationship with photography is so much more complicated than that. When people see my photos they often comment that I “should be a photographer” and I can only laugh at that because despite still being a pretty good amateur photographer, I did study various aspects of photography and photojournalism at university and not a day goes by when I don’t ask myself why I don’t have the guts to step up and be a professional. This is something I am going to work through over the coming weeks and hopefully get to the bottom of my fears. I don’t understand why I am so afraid of doing something I love to much that could earn me a little money and bring happiness into both my life and the lives of people I photograph. Seems so simple.

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