The Super Whites The ordinary life of a Super Mum

The Super Whites
Dear Neil

Dear Neil,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the massage on Wednesday afternoon. I know it was a last minute plan and we didn’t have much time to organise ourselves, but even after everything that went wrong, it really was a lovely massage. I particularily enjoyed the vigorous shoulder rub and the hot towels on my feet were delightful. I am sorry though, I suppose I should apologise as well as thank you. I know you must have been looking forward to your massage and I am sure your girlfriend was really excited for her facial, its quite sweet actually that you wanted to share a room and had taken a cheeky afternoon off work for the pleasure of it. Or maybe she wasn’t your girlfriend but rather your mistress and your wife was at home with the children, wearily cleaning up after a belligerent toddler and trying to get the house together for you when you got home from work. Or was it your secretary? I hope not because she would have got a bollocking when you got back to the office for getting the times mixed up. So this is where I confess, your secretary/mistress/girlfriend didn’t get the times wrong, actually that was us. And that lovely room all set up for a double therapy swedish massage/facial combo wasn’t actually intended for us at all. In fact we were really supposed to be at an entirely different place down the road in a completely different hotel. But my friend who arranged it has been working really hard and feeling quite stressed out which was the reason she decided to take a cheeky afternoon off work and coerce me into an aromatherapy massage followed by High Tea and a photo exhibition concluding with a delicious meal at a Thai restaurant. So that was why it was only when we were both lying semi-naked under warm towels in the darkness with plinky plonky music playing that she realised that we might be in the wrong place. By then it was too late, we could already hear you stomping out of the spa in a huff and the masseurs came back into the dark room exuding a kind of uncomfortable awkwardness and so she made the executive decision not to own up and instead we let it all just slip away while the therapists finished what they had started without asking us for more details about who we actually were and when we had booked.

I really am sorry about your massage Neil. I hope we didn’t ruin your day. We almost thought karma had come back to bite us on the ass when we rocked up for our high tea smelling strongly of aromatherapy oils and looking a little dishevelled and the lady denied all knowledge of our booking. We had to laugh. Thankfully it worked out in our favour as the little Japanese place next door had wonderful seventies inspired infusion pots for our tea and the scones were giant and covered with cream and jam. All in all we had a lovely day, mostly thanks to you Neil!

Regards
Sarah and friend.

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