I know its just a mood thing and it’s a guilty pleasure to do nothing after being so busy over Christmas, but there is a difference between taking it easy and being lazy and laziness doesn’t sit well with me. I think I have mentioned before on the blog about how I perceive my role in life at this time and my total and honest enjoyment and satisfaction in this role. I am a mum who stays at home and takes care of our daughter and our house. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not intending to upset or offend any other stay-at-home-mums out there who are militant about the value and responsibility this role affords. I wholeheartedly agree, being a mum to Amy is a full time job in itself, but the real point of the issue to me is that in addition to taking care of Amy, I also take care of our home and our needs at home. Which means cleaning, and cooking, doing laundry, budgeting, shopping and a hundred other little jobs. I suppose the key thing here to mention is choice. I choose to do these jobs and take great pleasure in doing them. Another key thing is that I do these jobs but not in isolation. Ron is a brilliant person to live with, for many reasons, but in this case he is an excellent housemate because he has the same standards that I do, we like to keep our house clean, tidy and comfortable.

A comparison then between what happens now and what went before shows two noticeable differences, firstly Amy, and secondly I don’t work. When Ron and I lived in London without a child and both worked full time there were a lot of arguments about housework, cooking and other chores. I was working silly hours in the city and then coming home and struggling to keep our house looking and feeling the way we both wanted. We shared the housework but often it was left to the person who was home to wash the dishes and do the hoovering and thanks to less working hours due to a government job, most of the time this meant Ron. We shared cooking duties because cooking is a pleasure that we enjoy and not considered to be a chore. I remember having a phone conversation with a dear friend in London who called me up when I was on the train going home one night. She asked me how I cope with the housework and the division of labour in our home and I controversially said that I believe the person who works less hours and hence has more time in the home should do the bulk of the housework, in our case, this meant Ron.

In conclusion although I am proud to be described as a domestic goddess, it isn’t a title that someone should aspire to, unless its something they actually want to be. I also strongly believe that running a home and bringing up children should be a choice and sadly its more often not. Most of my friends with children have had to go back to work because life on one salary is just not possible in many of the cities we live in. I am so grateful to my husband for working hard and enjoying his job which in turn allows me to enjoy my job and that’s the reason why I work hard at it. I hope this makes sense. A good friend said something very profound to me this week in an email and I hope she won’t mind me quoting it here: “So many divides with motherhood – childless vs children; girl moms vs boy moms; younger children vs older children; private vs public schooling; routine vs no routine etc etc.” I guess it’s a lot harder to sit on the fence and not have an opinion when you look at your life and make the inevitable comparisons with those around you. I just wish we all judged ourselves a little less harshly and made allowances for what fits into our lives and what doesn’t.

Right, its time to slouch off to the couch again and take up residence in front of the telly until Amy wakes up. I would love to hear what you have to think about what I have said, if you agree or disagree or have a completely different opinion?